The air is a bit cooler, we’re turning the clocks back, and the stores are filling with holiday products. The 2019 Holiday Season is upon us! For some, this may bring mixed emotions as they journey through the season for the first time after a life changing event.
Divorce, the loss of a loved one, a move to a new town and many more circumstances can make you feel lonely or nostalgic for earlier times. The holidays can be stressful as you face new challenges, especially when children are involved. Take some steps now to prepare for the season and hopefully you will find it easier than you thought, and perhaps you may even find time to be jolly.
- Patience is a virtue, especially during this crazy, hectic season. Many of us feel overwhelmed with responsibilities, deadlines, finances, family drama….. Cut them, and yourself, some slack. Rather than letting frustrations build, take deep breaths and realize every feels extra pressure during this time of year. Patience may be just what is needed to help turn others moods around and make time spent together enjoyable for all.
- Traditions are a staple of the holiday and can be both comforting and heart wrenching after a significant life change. Take some time to think about your family traditions. Decide which ones can stay, which have to go, and which may need to be tweaked. Create new traditions that fit well within your new parameters.
- Gift giving is best when the giver gets as much joy as the receiver. If the change in circumstances means the gifts may not be as plentiful this year, manage expectations. Perhaps set a budget with family members so you feel comfortable. Here’s a chance to create new traditions that focus on spending time doing something meaningful as a family rather than having a huge gift exchange. If you have little ones, look for holiday events in your community. Most have plenty of opportunities to enjoy holiday festivities as a family and they often are quite inexpensive.
- Schedule time for yourself. If you are feeling overwhelmed or emotional, you may need to take a small time out just for yourself. It’s ok to say no to some holiday outings. Snuggle in with a good book, binge watch that series you’ve been meaning to watch, take a walk/drive, get a massage. Anything that brings a mental escape.
- Schedule visitations and holiday time with your ex well in advance to help avoid conflict and so the children know what to expect. Also consider discussing gifts with your ex to avoid duplicates or one parent outspending the other.
- Reach out to friends. It can be easy to isolate yourself which often just makes you feel worse. Let friends and family know that you are looking forward to joining in the holiday festivities. Reach out to one or two close friends and ask them to give you an extra push when you need it.
The holidays are a time for family, love, and fun. Plan ahead, take control, and design this holiday season to best suit YOUR needs. Your holiday doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s, it just has to feel right to you and your family.
If you need to speak with an attorney about divorce, estate planning, or will, please call the The Law Office of Pamela J Helton at 352-243-9991 and we will be happy to help.
